He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need to calm my uterus...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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