So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
