Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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