I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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