Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
