Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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