You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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