there's paper in my vomit.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
