just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
