The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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