like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
