The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
