You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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