We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
