Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
These tits shall not be calmed
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.