So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
where does the pee come out of this thing
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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