thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
