I'm drive I can fine osifer
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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