Don't make out with my wife yet
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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