I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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