I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
