just come out here and I will go home with you...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
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