My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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