Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize
