I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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