Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
