if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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