You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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