so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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