well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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