don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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