I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
