Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize