Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize