So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
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The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
you never un-have a 4some
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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