Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found puke in my bra..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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