windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The feeling are messing with the penis
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
