just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
