does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
