$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
