i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
