Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
