Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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