is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
