So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
