So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We left the knife in your bed.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
