When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
