I seem to have left my pride at pride
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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