i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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