woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
