it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
