i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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