i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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