just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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