no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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