Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
BRING THE BAGELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize