i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
