It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
