Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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