Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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