i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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