i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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