Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
