After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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