she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
