You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
