im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
